Over here, above Europe, the clock has struck twelve already. It won’t happen at Vancouver before another solid few hours, but from afar, October 12 looks very, very promising.
I’ve been waiting for today for a long time, now. I know you do too.
I’ve counted down dozens of days before we reached it, and I’ve sighed and smiled and bounced in anticipation for weeks, now. I can’t believe it’s there, finally. I can’t believe that a few hours only are now keeping me away from a premiere I can’t wait for anymore, and if I close my eyes, I can still see how torn apart I was by the mean cliffhanger last season has left us with. I’m ready to take the pain, the losses, the sadness, the anger, the threats, all the consequences last year’s events will elicit, and all the beauty that will eventually flow from it all.
Oh, I am more than ready. I crave for it. I dream of it. Every single spoiler read here and there send shivers of anticipation down my spine. Every new picture make me squee in delight. Every tweet, every instagram post makes my heart beat faster, my eyes shine brighter, and cloud my brain with a warm breeze of pure love. There’s so much power in being a fan, and so much happiness coming straight from 40 minutes of weekly television.
My dear Stephen, today’s our third season premiere together, and all I have for you are apologies.
I’m so very sorry, but…It’s not your show that I’m *so* excited about.
It’s the downstairs neighbor’s. You know, the two brothers with the beautiful Impala ? Those who die relatively (to my greatest despair) often but can’t stay (to my greatest relief) dead ?
My dear Stephen, today’s our third season premiere together, and I’m afraid it’s our last one, too. And from where I stand, on top of two years and a half of love, the taste of a fading fandom is sour at best.
We’ve been defeated, Ollie and I. After such a great run, too. I’m not one to do things in a logical order whatsoever, and so, this summer, the Winchesters sneaked in, dropped twelve seasons of the most amazing television experience I could possibly dream of…And that was pretty much it. I was done. There was nothing I could do to escape the Supernatural monster, and it won me over completely. Game-changer. Actually, life-changer too. And sadly, opposing Sam and Dean, it quickly became evident that Oliver would never recover from that fatal blow. Whatever bond we both shared didn’t resist the unbreakable one the brothers created between them and me, and while I was terrified about each and every spoiler about Ollie’s future, the Winchester’s is nothing but exciting and so very promising.
Oh, I have loved Oliver immensely, and forever will. Arrow was, and for a long time, such an emotional and visual shock, such a dark, gritty, and fascinating ride…The first three seasons were nothing but perfect. And even when the quality of the show started to decline, and the writing stopped being so powerful to bump into invisible corners and get stuck in bizarre obsessions, I was still so proud to call myself a fan, and to call this show my favorite one. Then, one of my favorite ones. Then just a good one. We reached the sunset of this whole story faster than I wanted to. The new characters didn’t cut it for me, and despite a few brillant ideas and a stunning finale last year, the naked truth is that…Winchesters or not, we’d probably be exactly at the same point. The only difference, and it’s a massive one, is that the newcomers took over my whole world, and instead of just slowly losing that one thing I loved so much, there’s another one that’s blossoming spectacularly.
As sad as it is, I’m nothing but grateful for so many things…
Thank you, Stephen.
For giving me one of my favorite character of all times. For giving a life to someone as beautifully complicated as Oliver. For being one step ahead of anything that was expected of you, character-wise. For never losing an inch of credibility even when the story went off the rails. For your exceptional chemistry with David and Em, and for giving us OTA, one of the most inspiring friendship in the history of television. Thank you for carrying Arrow with such grace.
Thank you for my very first convention. Despite the, well, rogue (pun intended) organisation, and the, erm, villain-ish staff members, you made it one of the best week ends of my life. You were amazing with everyone, sweet and fun and gracious with every single fan, and your hugs are probably worth awards on their own. You made us laugh our socks off on a Saturday morning, and you never stopped being the nicest guest all the way through the weekend. I’ll cherish that picture for the rest of my life.
You gave me the convention virus, and I’ll never thank you enough for it. There are very few experiences as mind blowing as meeting your favorite actors in person, and having the opportunity to discuss those characters with you all remains, to this day, among the craziest, most amazing things I’ve ever had the chance to live. After that first time, I was on a lifelong-high. I didn’t know that packing so much in those two days was even possible, and I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt like I was the luckiest fan alive. Technically, if you make people feel like they’re lucky to be with you, you must be doing something right. You did, Stephen.
Thanks to you, and to this beautiful first one, I’ve decided to replicate the experience with other shows. Walker Stalker, this year, and something on the other side of the world next year. It probably wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for you.
Thank you for your endless generosity, your honesty, and your beautiful soul. You’re one of the very, very few who earned a lifetime of admiration on my side, regardless to my fading relation with Arrow. You’re just a good person…And it’s not that common, nowadays. I’m glad for all the things you fight for, and I’m glad for the way you do it. I’m glad for your sense of humor, and for the quality of your social media interactions. I’m just happy you’re you, overall.
And finally…One last thing. And it’s a big one (pun totally intended, and yes, I’m proud of it)
Remember what you posted this morning on Instagram ?
For most of the people who stumbled upon that post, it’s nothing but a great (and fun) picture of two of the greatest CW actors, and a strange version of a crossover we all want to see (oh come on, Oliver in the back seat next to Castiel ? I’d give a lot to see that). For me, it’s a little more. If it weren’t for you, and for your friendship and the sweet pictures of you and the Supernatural boys (or, alternatively, the Supernatural boys trashing your set), I would never have given Jared a second of my attention, and neither would have I followed him on twitter and Instagram.
It took a little while, but as it turns out, it was the very first step toward what could possibly be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. He and Jensen pretty much brought me back to life this summer, and he’s behind the most important fictional character of my entire existence. You, Stephen, were the one thing unknowingly connecting all the dots that would send me on a path of self-awareness through Sam Winchester’s destiny, and that would give me one of the greatest gift a fan could want : a real life superhero, none other than Jared himself. I love that picture a whole, whole lot, for those reasons.
I don’t know how much longer I have with Ollie. Maybe the season will appease all of my fears after all ? Maybe it’ll get back to the roots. Maybe getting back Felicity and John will light the fire back. Maybe we’re not done at all.
But I know I’ll forever have my love for you, and for everything you are. That’s never going to change.
Take care of my friends at Heroes And Villains London next year. I can’t be with you all next year, but it’s for a good, 9-hour long up in the air reason. And yes, it does involve the great human being next to you on the picture above.
With all of my gratitude and a good chunk of my heart